Okay, gua mengaku dulu gua memang gila-babeng suka makan bende kat atas tu.Gua makan ngan nasik bubur...roti bakar...telur goreng...bubuh satu sudu besar lam secawan air panas fu-yohhhh like syok one, y'knowww.

And of course, tiba-tiba this was not certified as halal, so back to the SUDUT WAS-WAS dimana when in doubt, you just telan air liur and go for the alternative...

Ta-daaaa.Bende ni aku makan ngan roti, biskut,..uh..roti..uh..biskut...biskut...dan biskut.Walaupun tak sesyokgiledingdong-ahhh cam Bovril, Vegemite still rawks.Kat umah aku berbotol-botol bende ni sampai nak naik mereng nengok bende kuning ni (selepas orang kuning DIGI yang teramat creepy seperti Teletubby Zaman Purba).

...dan ini takder kaitan ngan bakal suami aku.Sebab yang kelakarnyer, bakal suami aku lebih 'melayu' dari aku.Mamat tu suke cili..cili..cili.Gua okay jer ngan cili, tapi tak boleh lebih-lebih sebab usus gua sensitif.Tapi kire okaylah kan?Balance.Ying and Yang.Dr.Jekyll and Ms.Hyde.Haha.

Dayyyuuummmm.

Even it is in those SMS-lingo that I so despise, still...after all that ranting and me being merajuk and all, he pulls a wow-tactic on me!Ah benci

Will now demand for a 3 hour cuddle fest upon The Man's arrival in *gasp* 16 DAYS!~~

Pada satu hari, stok Nescafé saya dah habis.Maka saya terpaksa mengemis didalam opis mencari mereka yang sudi untuk menderma sepeket kopi 3-in-1 (beggers can't be choosers) kepada saya yang comel lagi baik hati ini.Alangkah bahagianya apabila seorang hamba Allah yang hensem menawarkan kopi tongkat ali brand Semut kepada saya...dan sejak itu, saya ketagih minum kopi tongkat ali tersebut.Dengan banggenye, saya minum sekurang-kurangye 4 peket kopi tongkat ali dalam sehari.Ia membuat saya rase seperti budak 3 tahun yang disuap sesudu besar gula kasar, kelajuan percakapan saya meningkat 10x ganda dan saya gerenti akan pengsan kalau tak dapat minum kopi tongkat ali tersebut dalam masa 4 jam.Hooray.

Besides my pointless coffee entry, The Man and I had an argument.Excuse me for not always being Ms.Sexy Smart all the time, but I do have my feather-brained moments where I will morphed into a lovable bimbo.And the topic of taboo?Birthdays.Geez.I will not talk about this, it's too intellectual but I've been scouting sites and even consult my ulama friend about birthdays.But I daresay, selagi no booze, free sex or even lapdancing in a slutty nurse outfit is involved, I have done nothin' wrong.

So now I'm using my hak asasi card to sulk and act very much like dumb cow over it.Have regretfully send a I-WILL-NEVER-COOK-CURRY-FOR-YOU email to The Man and told him off that he will never see me in my bunny costume during the honeymoon.

Didorong perasaan merajuk tahap dewa, I spend my last $ on 2 gorgeous Fila tees, 2 pair of cotton pants for that tepi-pantai feel, flipflop yang gerenti akan putus, pau kacang hitam yang teramat sedap di dunia, kropok soya timbang $2.40 100gm, 3-layer tea (which counted as my 20th in seven days) and a hefty $260 blood test (and 48 other test, whereby the lab throw in the HIV testing free.Free my ass!).

And that's what actually drove me to coffee intoxication.Ladies and gentlemen, I am a certified nut, thank you.

At this point, you can guess pretty much what this entry is going to be.If it's a horror movie, it would be aptly called, "SHOPPING WITH MOM: when you think it is safe to go shopping with her..."

I LOVE Mother Queen.I really do.As much as I love blogging naked or curling in bed even WITHOUT  a good book (or a man *wink wink*).

But having to go shopping with her is....

Lady Sleepalot had one word to sum it up, "SUICIDE".

Last weekend was the last preparation shopping trip.Now,normally, when I shop I don't really go with Mother Queen due to different taste and shopping habits.But on a comparative note, both of us agreed that Lady Sleepalot is the WORST shopper of all (she can spend 1 day for the perfect pants, sampai ngko kebulur pun lom gak minah tu dapat make up her mind.Teramat scary).The plan was to get the perfect wedding shoes, The Man's kain sampin and baju melayu studs (a whopping cekik darah price of $76 for 'em damn buttons!) and wedding veil (rearrange the letters and you'll get 'evil'.How ironic).Kain sampin and over-priced baju melayu studs?No problemo.Wedding veil?No problemo (although my heart was set on this really sparkly number but Mother Queen decided that it was too overwhelming and said that I look more like a Vegas showgirl rather than a demure bride in that).

Perfect wedding shoes than any shoe-enthuthiast would sigh and drool over?

Mother Queen DISAPPROVED dengan jayenyer.

I so want those shoes!They were perfect, but the type of shoes you could only wear for certain occassions i.e weddings/makan bersama menteri/Latin night at the club/romantic candlelit dinner/foreplay.I tried it on LAST WEEK on my impromptu shopping trip with Miss Wedding Planner (WP).Regardless of my very fatty feet, they look MARVELLOUS...and dare I say, my kaki look very berseri-seri in it!.Price was okay.Goes perfectly with wedding dress.Nevertheless I was excited to get it.The Man approved it as well and commented that I've sexy toes (and with that it is confirmed that The Man has a toe fetish).

Mother Queen's fetching comments?"Ei.Not appropriate.Your kaki besar.Wouldn't go with your body size and all."

WHAT?!Has she not seen my shoe collection enough to make me a qualified member of Imelda Marcos's Shoe Addict club?Has she never paid attention to what type of shoes her very prodigal (but very manje) daughter love?My shoes often spell "WHORE"(without the promiscuous part) all over.

And where in Kuching can you get a decent photographer that does not make you make those poyo pengantin poses?I abhor the my-tangan-on-your-bahu-you-senyum-like-cicak-berak-kapur look.NO WAY!And no, I do not want to take pictures at Pustaka or some pokok tepi jalan.NO.Ke entah-entah aku sendiri yang amik gambar with trustee cameraphone...*haha* Sik pat imagine, lawak jak ghupa.

You know what, minus the perfect shoes pun I don't care lah.I just want to be with The Man and can't wait for him  to be part of my crazy but loving family.-->memujuk diri

Lady Sleepalot was horrified when I told her that the wedding is theme-less.Like I said, I'm more of a free-spirited  person when it comes to my very own wedding except no orange laces, no ruffles, no songket, no sambal perut lembu and no muka-kelabu make-up.I mean, if I've the choice of having a beach wedding (which HSB and I had marvelously berangan about LAST year), I would.But I figured grandma would look weird in a bunga-raya motif pareo and flowers in her hair lah kan.And the angin tepi pantai is not really picture-friendly with the hair (set rambut beratus-ratus ringgit, next thing you know you look like the lost members of KISS).

"But you must HAVE a color lah!"

"Nope.Na-ah.You can wear any color  you like.Wear black is cool"

Initially since The Man and I are goths in our past lives, we joked about having our wedding outfits in black.But it's suppose to be a 'happy' occassion blablabla.Anyway, the phone conversation with Lady Sleepalot when I told her there are far more important things than going nuts over a wedding theme.

Toldja I's cool.*snickers*

That's for the latest wedding-prep buzz.Yesterday I spent my lunch time scoping about for the cheapest courier service.I needed to send ONE piece of document to The Man.So I round up the usual suspects POS LAJU MALAYSIA, CITY-LINK, DHL, ABEXPRESS, TNT EXPRESS etc.

POSLAJU MALAYSIA--called the hotline and the direct Kuching line, NOBODY, I repeat, NOBODY picked up the phone.And it was only 3 pm.Self-explanatory.Lazy bastards.Yun, do something!

CITY-LINK--prompt.nice phone etiquettes.Price to send a doc from Kuching-Australia?$71.50 Riiiiiiigggght.

DHL--fuyooooh.The customer service, mahvelloussss.Answered all my queries with confidence.Very professional.The courier charge Kch-Aus?$72.45 [3 working days]. by this time my jantung berdegup at a dangerous speed.

ABEXPRESS--decided to skip this one, after what had happen a couple of days ago.Formerly known as 'Dad', couriered his IC copy to me(which I really need for me wedding form).Ok, from KK-Kch dated 03/04/07...which only reached me oh say almost a week?!WTF?!Itu pun after I CALLED!What?Unreliable.

TNT EXPRESS--by this time I decided to stop using the phone, I just saw the GM berlenggang-kangkong in our department.Oops, better act rajin and scratch the gaji-buta act for awhile.

And then I found the nicest, bestest and affordable courier service.OVERSEAS COURIER SERVICE (OCS) .."since 1973"...oooh, interesting.Courier charges from Kch-Aus?

$27.80  3-4 working days for the doc to reach The Man.

Oh joy!

*ha ha*

I've taken to morning blogging session.My very own privacy hour without Mother Queen barging in and selamberrr sat down behind me to see WHERE I surf about on the internet.

Which serves as a good reason why I should be ecstatic of getting married.Heh.Marriage comes with privacy.Okaylah, not privacy sampai cast-away-on-island privacy, but aderlah jugak unsur-unsur minimal privacy.Woohoo.

Kesian kan?

Hokay.After work yesterday, since Projek Bikini telah ditunda sehingga tarikh yang sesuai (plus project partner got the sniffles), I decided to enjoy myself at THE place yang buat I the most happiest woman on earth.It started out with me and my ginocchi, but was joined by other equally beautiful people, HSB and Prefect Skolah.And the party started!

Not that I'm complaining.I love the company, but I don't mind the solitude either.I do enjoy lunch/tea by myself, gives me ample time to just sit there, absorb the ambience (which was serene), berangan about playing tackle with The Man and of course take time to reflect on things.

...and enjoy my ginocchi!!I was tempted to get dessert as well, but that would just blow my diet away, plus I've a wedding dress fitting next Wednesday.

Speaking of which, *ha ha* I gave The Man's measurement to my pondan tailor.Apparently The Man has quite impressive measurements.I was of course, tingling as I wrote down the measurements.But what seems to amuse me more is that...my pondan tailor lagi eksaited dari aku.After the whole business, he/she goes, "My,my, he's a big fella ain't he?".

Hokayyyy.Pondan tailor smirking at me, me no likey.I just buat dono and acted all innocent.

...heh.I suppose I've no use of Kingkong-in-his-pants-officemate anymore now that I've got my very own...uh...love of my life.Yes, more appropriate.

*hums happy song*

Die die Tidak Mungkin Berhad!

For the last two days, things were surprisingly DOCILE at the office.

But I expect shit to happen today.I'm not losing my optimistic self, but rather when you know the company's potential of giving a lot of shit to the public, hence shit WILL happen.I'm psychic in that way.*ha ha*

So far the first 'shit' has come in my way.

My 2 weeks holiday has been questionable.So, I, Miss Mulut-Takde-Insuran, went to see Management and explain WHY I am taking such leave.I mean, forgadsakes lah kan...when I submitted the friggin' leave-form I was courteous enough to attach an explanation letter(NOBODY else in the office does that!Aku mintak tukar syif pun aku bagi surat--for the record kinda reason).Either Management is TOO stupid to understand my simple plain English OR Management tergolong dalam mereka yang tidak membaca in Malaysia.Bos bodo.

Tired of being 'sopan' (thank you to a wonderful upbringing)and still suffering from post-sick leave moments (gastricitis does not go away happily.They linger and fester in your freakin' stomach) all grumpy-me said was, "Look, I'm getting married, my husband to be is flying in from 1000 miles to be with me and I need a holiday to enjoy sex on the beach and I know I'm entitled for one".Yes, I said 'sex' and lady-boss's ugly perm-do macam nak lurus balik!Ha ha ha.

At least I'm honest lah kan, not like some people yang plan for their 'SICK LEAVE'.You don't plan for MCs, you plan for PAID LEAVE.But who cares lah kan, janji aku yang beretika tak buat camtu ;-)

Peliklah this dumb company.Believe or not, BEFORE we were not entitled to compassionate leave.NOT ENTITLED.Yes,you read me right.So us, yang bijak-pandai protes la with yours truly the most LANCANG-MOUTH of all (garnered me the title as well.Awww,  you guys shouldn't have!Terharu aku).So basically if any of your immediate family passed away, and you take an emergency leave as what normal human beings would do, your gaji will be deducted dengan hebatnye.But now things changed, we get our compassionate leave.Heh.Dah tutup cerita.

Mother Queen said that I am entitled for cuti kawin.But if you work for a company with the word 'mungkin' as their tagline, you know that ANYTHING bound to happen lah kan.

So yes, I am taking a risk of taking a long holiday.And I've NOT taken a leave for quite some time, and my leave days are wow-so-workoholic-lah-you.I don't see myself as a workoholic, just responsible and...very kesian at other company's clients that's all.

Tu sebab aku tak bley bukak bisnes.Sebab aku memang kesian kat orang.

Aku kesian kat budak.

Aku kesian kat orang sakit.

Aku kesian kat ibu-ibu mengandung yang ditindas suami sendiri.

Aku kesian kat mak aku sebab dapat anak krek cam aku.

Aku kesian kat bakal suami aku yang berkorban ape saje demi cinta terhadap Allah.

Aku kesian kat adik aku yang tercampak jauh nun disana semata-mata untuk mencari rezeki.

Aku kesian kat aku yang tetap maintain keje kat kompeni ntah-pape-ntah atas dasar aku suka bidang service industry.

Kat orang bodoh pun aku kesian sebab akal dikurniakan Tuhan pun tak larat nak pakai, bende free pun tak nak pakai.

Dah abis.Aku nak gi keje dah ni

*gulp*

When the delectable Viva said "check list", my brains short-circuit skejap.Omigawd.I do have a check list; of my so-call simple wedding yang sudah morph into my Big-Fat-Malay Wedding.I may love making lists, but when it comes to wedding in order for my brains to keep inside that simple wedding plan, I decided to go 'spontaneous'.Then of course, the other formalities i.e official forms/documents that one kire settle lah.

...and of all the things that I've forgotten, my very own passport picture.Yes, I am so tempted to kick myself in the ass.

Yesterday was suppose to be Bikini Project day with The Gorgeous, but due to unavoidable circumstances, Bikini Project was postponed to a later date and I went for a makan fest and a mini-shopping fest.Plus I was looking for THE perfect wedding shoes.

Found it :-) ooh-la-la very happy now and cannot wait to get 'em and go swipe swipe at the cashier's.

I am one miskin woman next month.But very rich with love and cellulite.

I'm getting married in one month.

HAPPY EASTER, people.

Dinner on the eve of Good Friday was AWESOME!Lagi awesome is that I got home at 1am and was pretty much delusional afterwards at work (yes, I work on public holidays as well.Kumpul duit, beb;biaselaa orang nak kawin).

Of course intipati dinner akan dirahsiakan atas sebab-sebab privasi.Plus, hell no am I going to share with you my secret-heaven lah kan .But the 'place' is teramatlah best for a romantic dinner, a bitchfest with your girlfriends or simply to celebrate food, calories and good music.

Which calls for another Persatuan Wanita Hangat meeting to try out the 'place' and simply go ga-ga over the food (of course).

That night, HSB and I were seated at the leng-leng section, which is perfect if you're just there to sip 'sirap jadian'/coffee/ayek kola have a ciggie and bitch about life.But to actually have a makan-fest?Well, the section was not appropriate (furniture), but who cares?!I was enjoying myself although occasionally I didn't know what was in my plate because it was teramat gelap, only one tea-light candle thingy.Sorta gave me a few berangan session to bring The Man there when he comes to Kuching *giggles*.The other section is better for an all night lepak-ing...too bad I was too engrossed with food and conversation that I couldn't be bothered to take pictures.Tapi if I do take pictures, you'll know where it is..and might terhegeh-hegeh bring your skanky girlfriends and pollute the serene environment lah kan.So, untuk keamanan sejagat, I'm keepin' mum about this 'place'[sbenarnyer 'port' kesayangan sudah tidak best sebab teramat ramailah psycho-yuppies yang menjelekkan perasaan dan membuat saya teramat annoyed--all because I revealed the name of the place and went all 'teruja' about it].

So yeah.We just sat there for hours...eating, laughing, catching up on old times, and making fun at some couple who were giving each other mad-cow looks.Hek-elehhhh, ntah-ntah aku pun same kah kah kah

Anyway, I was a wreck the next morning at the office.Tonggang-langgang jer everything...and was practically having a bad day.So, to compensate on a shitty day, I splurge on gorgeous lingerie, satin bedspread, perfume and shoes.

Gulp.

Ye, punyelah stress tuan-tuan dan puan-puan sampei saya naik 'sheikh' kat sebuah pusat membeli-belah.Tapi saya puas hati...ala, shopping pun bukan untuk tralala sendiri enjoy...untuk kebaikan bakal suami jugak.Ehem.

Have a great weekend people.I am so going to guling-guling bagaikan sex goddess di atas cadar baru saya.The Man, you better appreciate the picture that I am about to email you for your viewing pleasure *wicked laugh*

Later tonight 8 ish ok? Msg you before i leave the house.Cya.

Malam ini aku bebasssssssssss!!!*do happy monkey dance*

Let's see  a list of things to do ie karaoke like drunken rich tai-tais, get slosh like disgruntled corporate slaves and huddle together with friends and ogle at men like a little club of perverts.

Nah.I'm keepin' it low.It wil be just me, High School Buddy(HSB) and a LOT of coffee, cake and nicotine (that's for HSB).Tonight's topic?(1)"Forgadsakes, wear a thong, girl!"(2)"Fugly"(3)"She's definitely not a virgin"(4)"So, have you seen his..."(5)"My officemate has bad B.O,and she's a bitch too"(6)"What's that girl's name who used to sit in front of us back in school?Yeah, the one who took a lot of crap from us".

So yeah, a night with HSB will be interesting.And it's been AGES since we both hangout.Especially after I declared that I'm nicotine-free and all.Curfew?What curfew?*snicker*I've got until 2am -very much tidak sedar diri that I, the underpaid slave-monkey, has overtime tomorrow at the office from 9:30am onwards - to get mabok-kopi and watch HSB and her nicotine-act (she makes great swirly smoke thingy).

Yelah kan.Kesian me who lives in the smallest room in the highest tower in Tragic Kingdom.Ini kira prelude Hen's night lah.I don't get to go out often, more or less date.All these years dating has been done secretly, almost espionage-like.Yes, tragic me.Going out with girlfriends pun is like...JARANG.Transportation, time and yes, ultimate reason : Mother Queen.Sleepover?An insane idea, very suicidal indeed.Lagi-lagi want to go for romantic getaway with boyfriend and shag ourselves to death lah kan.

But being the good anak dara-dok-rumah thing has its perks.I save money, I get to do try out different types of couch-potato maneuvers, watch stupid tv shows about the poor rich malay girl who dates a blardi rempit or lie in bed giggling on the phone with The Man like a 16 year old every single night.

Hmm.

Okay.

Definitely can't wait to go out and have a bitchfest with HSB.